Law and discipline do not begin in courtrooms or police stations; they start at home.
Parents are the first lawmakers in their children’s lives, and their role in shaping the future of society cannot be overlooked.
Tunji Disu, a Commissioner of Police, has called on parents to embrace their duty of discipline and guidance rather than relying on law enforcement to correct their children’s mistakes.
He shared his experiences with troubled youths and their parents, emphasizing that many issues faced by society stem from a lack of parental presence and discipline at home.
In his reflection, Disu recounted instances where desperate parents sought police intervention in disciplining their children.
Some pleaded for detainment, while others went as far as demanding extreme punishments.
“A retired soldier once came into my office in Ago Iwoye, demanding we kill his son, a university student arrested for cultism,” Disu revealed.
However, by the next day, the same father returned, bringing food for his son and inquiring about his well-being.
This, according to Disu, reflects the conflicting emotions parents experience anger masking helpless love.
The police commissioner also highlighted how parents often attempt to outsource discipline.
He shared a case where a father wanted his drug-addicted son to be kept in a police cell for weeks.
However, the request was denied because “cells are not rehabilitation centers.”
Disu stressed that while law enforcement is responsible for maintaining order, the real foundation of discipline should be built at home.
“We enforce laws; we cannot replace love. We investigate crimes; we cannot teach values,” he stated.
Reflecting on past generations, Disu noted that discipline was once a direct responsibility of parents and teachers.
Physical punishment was widely accepted, but times have changed.
Today, many consider such methods outdated, even abusive.
However, he believes the core issue is not the method of discipline but the lack of engagement.
“The problem today isn’t a lack of discipline; it’s a lack of presence,” he observed. Parents who once corrected their children themselves now pass the responsibility to others.
Disu emphasized that children who grow up without boundaries at home often seek them elsewhere, sometimes in cultism, drug abuse, or crime.
He urged parents to understand that surrendering their parental role to external institutions could lead to devastating outcomes.
“The retired soldier’s son changed not because we jailed him, but because his father chose to fight for him, not against him,” he explained.
Addressing parents directly, Disu reminded them that their children’s future depends on their active involvement.
He encouraged them to remain present, patient, and persistent in discipline.
“To the father who sees his son slipping away: Stay. To the mother who feels out of her depth: Ask for help. To the parent who thinks it’s too late: It isn’t,” he urged.
He concluded by stressing that parenting is a difficult but sacred duty.
The values instilled at home determine the kind of individuals children become.
Society’s fabric is woven in living rooms, not in police cells.
However, with this reflection, parents are encouraged to take responsibility for their children’s upbringing, ensuring that they grow into disciplined and responsible individuals who contribute positively to the community.
